How to be Authentic (It Involves a Party)
If you aren't sure if you're being your most *authentic* self, this post is for you.
Picture throwing a big house party. Complete with your favorite foods, drinks and even decorations. You’re so excited. (Just go with me, you hired a cleaner, whatever)
You’ve invited EVERYONE: your middle school best friend, your yogi pals, the juice shop owner, the guy you like, your coworkers, your parents, even aunt Sally and your lesbian neighbors.
Do you have a clue how to act in the presence of all of these random party guests?
If your answer is somewhere along the lines of: Errrm, no, Pass the tequila.
Then, my hunch is you have a different Barbie outfit and persona for each of those cliques and peeps.
This is what happens when we aren’t rooted in the authenticity of who we are. We often try to act a certain way to please people based on who we think ‘they’ are. I.E - trendy people, cool neighbors, Pilates snobs, conservative mom..
We put people in boxes, just like the boxes Barbies live in, in hopes we don’t disappoint the people in our lives, by stepping out of the lines. Lines we’ve created for ourselves, I may add.
Speaking from experience.. I felt like a Barbie with several different box changes per day for many years of my life.
I went from Event Planner Barbie, complete with plastic smile and expense card; to Yogi Barbie who rushed to teach her classes after hours. Then, I’d be girlfriend Barbie, friend Barbie and… then, Barbie who drank too much and is going to be on the couch for a few days.
Drunk Barbie was a culmination of exhaustion of being so ‘pretendy’ all the, damn, time.
I felt as inauthentic as Barbie herself, my clothes weren’t plastic, but bought from it. I racked up about $7,000 in Credit Card debt during my inauthentic costume change phase.
Racking up debt or indulging in self deprecating activities can be another clue we are living our least genuine lives.
I use to say to myself:
“If I just had a brand new work wardrobe, then I’d feel happy and confident.”
“If I get new Lululemon pants, then I’ll feel great at the studio.”
Can you relate?
Jot down one area of your life you may be trying to ‘fix’ with purchases. Now, I want you to know, there’s nothing wrong with new things - but you may be surprised how sometimes purchasing can cover up an inadequacy feeling you’re trying to cover up, versus a harmless, new found passion for pencil pants. It’s also a neat, common way to try to impress others so you don’t have to focus on how you really feel inside.
Our true selves want to come out of the Barbie box, stretch our limbs and strip off those plastic costumes. I mean, so itchy, right?
Before we can bust out of the plastic world and into the real one, we have to peel back the layers we’ve been hiding under.