Clearing Out Your Emotional Pantry

Before I share with you what an "emotional pantry is" please note, I am so not a #ANTIFOOD kind of gal, so this challenge should not be interpreted as a diet because you ate too many mashed potatoes. Come on, who cares.

This is something from my book, Kicked Out of Therapy, and I thought I'd share it with you as December is the perfect time to prepare for 2020 if you look at it right.

Let's talk about clearing out your emotional pantry BEFORE we set any type of 2020 goals.

I like to say our feelings are a lot like our pantries - we keep the pleasant stuff that makes us feel good upfront and we hide the uncomfy things we don’t want to experience in the back. For example, you may keep your favorite nuts and dark chocolate upfront and hide the cans of tomatoes your boyfriend is literally always buying (Cough, Chris, Cough) in the back.

It’s a brave path to clean out the pantry and feel what’s really going on. When we choose to feel our feelings, we are making massive steps towards becoming our true selves and make our fear monsters jump out of the pantry and into the light.

Though, I understand, just like the food in our pantry, it’s much more fun to eat the cheez its than the old can of black beans in the back. The same goes for fun, happy emotions vs. sad and uncomfortable emotions.

Am I saying you can never watch TV, drink wine or play on your phone... Or buy new clothes? Of course not. But, if you give up these distractions for a week or even two, you may notice what you are utilizing the said item to hide behind. 

For example, a TV Marathon may allow temporarily you not to think about work deadlines and stress temporarily.

But, If you cut out the TV, you now have spare hours to think of a solution to work stress, actually do the work, relax, or hell: sleep!

You may know immediately what you are hiding behind. If so, jot it down.

If you’re not sure, this week notice when an uncomfortable emotion arises - what desire pops up?

  • “Damn, I need a glass of wine.”
  • “I am going to order new jeans. And 8 tops!"
  • “You know what’s a good idea? Three bags of candy corn.”
  • Or my personal favorite, “Fuck it, let’s go to dinner and drink eight margaritas.”

Whatever your item is - get ready, that’s what we’re giving up this week, baby. 

When life hits you in all directions, you know it’s catapulting you to the next dimension. Things can be even better when you clear emotions out as it creates space for new beautiful adventures.

When we create space by not numbing out with our favorite shiny pantry item, new possibilities become more apparent to us. Things start to shift.

When we keep numbing out, we go back to our old blocks, habits and our lives stay the same. We don’t get the opportunity to heal and move to the next level the Universe is handing us.

You ready to move on to the next glorious chapter of your life?

  • Pick something to go without this week. I suggest TV. You will have soooo much space, I promise!
  • Allow the creepy stuff to come up and feel your feelings for 90 seconds. Love yourself - you are brave! There is freedom on the other side. Set a timer, then move your body before you get back on your phone.
  • As the week progresses, note what things you want to hide behind or use to escape - jot down what feelings may be hiding underneath the surface. Where did you learn this pattern? Is it yours?
  • Think of a way to celebrate at the end of seven days for your brave adventure! Maybe you get a new smoothie machine? Maybe you and I get on a call and talk about 2020? Maybe you go to B&N and buy a new journal?


I hope you'll do this. It sucks, but it's so worth it.


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